Prospects of Darkness

The path of an Aisling seems, on the surface, to be clearly cut and dry. You either spend your life-energy struggling to push back the darkness… or you embrace it. Yet despite my early enthusiasm along the path which pitted me against a seemingly unending darkness, I find myself now considering the matter a touch more deeply. With more than a little regret, I find myself no longer able to hold on to the naïve perspective that drove my former zeal. I am now caught in a cage of indecision. To turn away from the light is not something that is done lightly… perhaps by even contemplating such a course of action as that, I already have.

When I awoke and looked upon the world for the first time with the eyes of an Aisling, I saw truths that had before escaped my notice. I could see, fleetingly, always at the edge of my vision, the web that connects all things. I saw in that web power. Elemental power that I could use to push back the darkness. Since that first awakening, never has there been a doubt anywhere in my being that I needed to see this web with crystal clarity in order to master the secrets of the elements. With practice I began to see the interconnectedness more clearly, but ever was that clarity shrouded in darkness. That is precisely where it became, and still is, more complicated. It seems that in order to see that clarity the darkness must be embraced. And yet, I can not help but to see that my original purpose in seeking that clarity was to gain the power to push back that very darkness. It seems that the means to an end has now offered itself to be the end itself. An interesting dilemma is it not?

Also of concern to me is the fact that Luathas, the God of Knowledge, refuses to show any sign as to caring whether or not I walk the path of darkness or of light. This can mean one of two things: Either he truly does not care for the titanic struggle and only cares for the accumulation of knowledge, which is after all power; or he chooses to use this as a test of some sorts. I suppose another possibility is that one mortal life is too insignificant to attract the attention of a God one way or the other. Truly a humbling thought. Does it even matter if Luathas supports my journey? After all, my magic comes not directly from him, like those of the priests. My power comes instead, directly from my own understanding and manipulation of the elements. Still it would not be at all prudent to fall out of favor of one with so much power. Again assuming that the God would even notice my deviance.

Great are the promises of Darkness but as I said earlier, it is no small thing to turn away from the light. With the light comes serenity so far from anything possible through the path of darkness that even the dark whispers that creep into my divided mind dare not offer it. Profound serenity that is not based on power or material gain but rather on the simple knowledge that your soul is in the loving hands of the Goddess Danaan. That is something not in the capacity of darkness to offer…no, the darkness offers much, but never that. Instead there is an offer of power unimaginable. A power that will then of course be needed to sustain your own life. For if you decide to tread that dark path, you must sustain your life eternally… when it ends, your soul falls not into the comforting hands of eternal peace. No, after a life of darkness there must lie only torment for the soul enshrouded in that dark element. It is true that I seek the power that appears to come only through the path of darkness, so much so in fact that I consider the prospects of turning from the light, even knowing the price that comes with it. But neither can I deny the strength that is born from that serenity only possible through the light.

I feel as a man who has left the blessing of light but has not yet gained the courage to embrace the darkness. A man caught between two paths, a man in a very dangerous place indeed. Even as I scribe this final piece of this work, a part of my mind is preparing for my next excursion into the bowls of the crypts. As of now I still hold as my intent the objective of fighting against the fiends which seem to come unendingly to that place… but I can not help but to wonder if the day will come when I journey to those depths with a different, unholy intent.

Perhaps it is possible that I may find a thin line that exists exactly between this dichotomy. A line in shadows perhaps, traveling enough through the darkness to see with clarity the strands of the web of power that permeate existence, but still feeling the warmth of the light. I pray that I find such a path even though I know that such a path would be precarious indeed.

May you find your path and be strong enough to follow it fellow Aisling-